Fair Trade

[Kayleigh McMillan]

A new post from an other perspective is pointless I think and a waste, of at least my time, as if this community stays on topic even.
And if the same contributers feel like going the same road again the same variety of tones will be heard because we are the same people still.
I for one don't feel like going in this again just because that thread was deleted, I'm no donkey.
To me this whole topic is water under the bridge now but just because some people claimed they were hurt doesn't mean others were not.
Maybe they tend to keep that more to themselves though.

I can absolutely not call that thread amusement by the way!
My heart is far below zero now and that is by no means a good sign.

[Devilness Chant]

It started out being a constructive sharing of ideas and feelings and turned into a circus.
Maybe instead of deleting it, it should have been locked or something. But it was going in the wrong direction. And it did need to stop. And it's a shame because maybe others could have constructively added their thoughts or learned something from it.

[Kayleigh McMillan]

Yes sadly when I asked KC via a ticket about the fact that thread was deleted out of escalation and might have needed some more active moderation instead they felt we solved it well together.
So I'm not sure if this forum is a safe place for people which are more fragile or do not have the nerves to stand up for their opinion in this atmosphere and I think this are a lot of people because I heard a lot of silent support of people who just didn't dare to share their honest opinion anymore.
Because as you say there were definitely constructive parts in this thread from both "sides" and I regret, if I let go of all the emotions, it was even possible to delete it KC even claimed it is not possible to place it back.
So they have no backup server for such either.
I wish the forum reflected a little more the atmosphere of the group chat.
From Dimpz's point of view I understand she did delete it she is only human that is why moderators are so important to avoid such escalation and to protect community efforts such as this thread was but also the more shy people who might have a wonderful vision to share.
But I have seen from many people very constructive posts on both ends of the fence and in between.
Some people might have pushed it to an other level and this part should in my opinion be more moderated over letting it escalate and being intimidating to the point Dimpz saw no other way than to delete the thread at that moment because people were so upset and sad.
But also moderated to make sure people will feel safe to share their opinion knowing there are certain ethics which can't be crossed and escalations as such would be avoided I know a lot of people fear to speak up I hear this over and over again in world.
What I hoped was that I would learn some from the people who shouted their opinion more.
Maybe after some nights of sleep I could see their points better.
It was definitely so people got emotionally effected.
This makes the overall thread not bad but the forum technically and the moderation of the forum.
I think such introduction as the auctioneer did was doomed to not be received well in first instance and maybe even in later instance.
The auctioneer herself didn't speak about her new rules in the thread, maybe she was scared too, I felt since I was the one who brought it up as something I liked I was responsible to shine a little light on her point of view but that was certainly not fun to do to be honest and definitely not entertaining I hope.
I regret we can't read it back but also future KittyCatS lovers can't.
I think it was very relevant.

And as for my opinion about this forum: it is the wild west and the survival of the fittest and I for one will not hesitate to stand my opinion no matter what happens or how the impact is I'm just too stubborn for that.

[Nocshadue Balbozar]

**I think I missed some of the posts before the Protocol thread was deleted**
It would be nice if we could all be a little nicer all the time in every situation. It can't hurt anything. There really is no reason to make things personal or be hurtful to get your opinion across. But we are all human, and we make mistakes. I know personally I've been told that I can come across as a know it all and I can be very blunt when tact is really required. I worked to improve my listening skills, I let myself actually care, and that was not always easy. This was mostly though RL work, I spent about 20 years doing telephone support and customer service..and ya I'm still (relatively) sane.

Listening really is the key to communication. If someone feels you are able to understand what they are saying they are so much more willing to hear what you have to say. But once someone starts bristling, it's a real effort to diffuse the situation. The problem with moderating something like a forum is the damage is likely already done by the time a mod sees a post that crosses the line.

I understand what Kay says about rehashing being useless. I'd hoped to shift the focus off what we may find negative, to what we can do that is positive. Action is empowering. If you are reading this thread and have an idea that you think will be good for the community as a whole, please feel free to share.

I still believe though, that being able to honestly vent is important as well. Have you ever been somewhere where the people are like all pissed off at each other or upset or hurt or whatever but no one will say anything about it? You can cut the tension with a knife. But no one wants to light the powder keg, no one wants to be the one that starts it, but it doesn't have to be WWIII. There can be honest discussion without fighting or being mean or name calling and hurt feelings. I've seen it done, I've done it myself and I know we as a group of creative, intelligent people are capable of it.

So I dunno why discussions tend to degrade or people end up with hurt feelings when there is no need for that. It is harder to convey emotion in writing than it is when just talking. Here we have no facial expressions, no tone or inflection of a voice to help up understand what is really meant. So when writing, it helps to read back what you have written aloud before you post. It can also help to give examples of what you are trying to say, like the one I gave about a group of pissed off people where no one wanted to start the fight.

I also agree that these discussions, for better or worse can benefit those that come after us. This forum serves as a living history of our experiences. And in that, we should ALL have a voice.

Hugs,
Noc

[Jelly Supply]

(01-15-2013 05:46 PM)penfold83 Resident Wrote:  

(01-15-2013 05:08 PM)Kayleigh McMillan Wrote:  * Kayleigh bows in respect
I'm considering my reply on the bottom line of this thread because I don't want to react instantly but really think this over ...

Then why post at all until you have considered your reply ? *scratches head*

Anyways Noc, i think with the new breeders, would be to help them improve upon the little kitty's they are making, they produced a 3t hiding a 7th, not do it for them but show how they can get the traits out, instead of the said cat going out on market very cheep and still no one buys, and gets them frustrated.

So in essence clearing the confusion around kittys trying too get them too attend the breeders classes if they still happen... Ohhh that another point for the peeps that can not get too said classes, why not record them and stick them on you tube ? so they can keep going back too it ?

Ohhh I love that idea... I can never seem to make the classes.